Ever wonder how you can improve your conversation skills?  I know, I know, we're realtors....we should know how to do this.....right?  But maybe, you're shy and don't know what to talk about?  The best advice I can give you is - take the focus off of You and put it on the Other person....ask them questions....listen to their answers......pay attention.......and then, frankly, it won't matter whether you're shy or not!                                            

There's no doubt that some of us find it easier to carry on a conversation with very little effort....but to some extent it is a learned skill so have HOPE it can be learned!

Maybe you're NOT Shy - in that case I have something for you........Its a most interesting discovery I've had - the more time you spend asking questions -and listening - the more likely the other person will be to think "YOU" are a very interesting person to talk to! So to be interesting be interested!  Ask questons that lead the other person to talk about things they enjoy or their achievements. Restrain your natural instinct talk about yourself ...most people prefer to talk about themselves over listening to you!

So without furthur ado...My "If You Get In My Car I Promise Not To Talk Your Ear Off " Tips:

1.) Smile - Yes I know it can be hard to do two things at the same time - but hey we're Realtors - we can Multi-task!  Smile while you're chatting! 

2.) Make The Other Person Feel Comfortable -  I know its hard to believe - but some people don't trust Realtors!  The second part of that equation is build Trust!  If they don't trust your motives they will feel uncomfortable disclosing information that they deem to be sensitive. How do you build trust?  Keep reading...

3.) Be Real! Don't be pretencious - don't put on airs - don't site off all your real estate designations...Relate to them - find something you have in common!

4.)Listen Carefully  - This is the next most natural thing to do if you're actually interested in the person! You are talking to him/her because you want to know what he/she says, right? So wouldn't it make sense to listen to what the other person is saying?

5.) Be genuinely interested. Find out what they're passionate about. Learn as much in those few minutes as you can, because it's way more fun than talking about the weather.  Trust me.

6.) Ask questions - Paying attention to the interests and activities of others, you will never lack for
conversation if you ask about the other person's day, future plans, or any subject that you know is of interest to them.

7.) Compliment - no that does not mean flatter!  Honestly, try to find something that you admire about the other person.....if you look I can assure you you will find! Everyone likes to be complimented and doing so will make them warm up to you....I think you'll be surprised how much easier it will be to engage them.  But a warning......do not use false flattery! 

8.)Do not argue - in an argument someone has to lose...and the end result on that one is you both will lose!

9.) Don't make assumptions..........It may not necessarily be what you think SHOULD be important? Ask and find out what's important to them.  ie. Maybe a big yard - is NOT what they want? - low maintenance is the name of their game?

10.) Maintain a positive outlook  - be friendly - it will go a long way......now this doesn't mean that you can't have empathy in terms of the downturn in the economy or real estate trends.  But lets keep the focus positive o.k.? 

11.) Read  & Educate yourself - trade magazines, company literature, and search web sites. Having the ability to hold an intelligent conversation about your line of work will make you invaluable and allow you to communicate effectively.  You'll never be short of topics and caught without something to contribute! 

12.) Silence -  Do you have awkward silences in your conversations or not know what to say? Does that make you feel uncomfortable? Well guess what?  Silence is o.k....You DON'T need to try and Baffle them with B*&^%$#t?  You do not need to keep talking to fill in the silence. 

Oftentimes, especially if the conversation is interesting, (and I hope so!)  it may take a while for that person to process the information that has been said. This means that even if there is a silence for minutes, he/she is probably just thinking, so let him/her think!  

The trick is really to find out what's in the other persons heart...What do THEY feel passionate about, what are their interests.....what's important to them? The road to a persons heart is to  talk about what they treasure most - 

To sum it up.......I love the simple math of this equation:

You Talking Time
Vs.
You Talking Time+ Other Person Talking Time + Silence Time